*SIGH* Once more, it was a top 20 finish, without cashing. This time, I popped in an early 3xBB raise in from UTG while holding AQo, got re-raised all-in two seats away, and like the durn fool that I am, I called. The guy I called is one of those hyper-aggressive dudes who can turn over any two cards, so I guess it’s just my bad luck that the man was holding bullets at that point in time. I seriously thought it was a steal-reraise, and that my hand looked pretty good. Except I really and truly know better after thinking about it — it was such a smooth raise and he was a big stack at our table. Folding would have hurt, but not as much as going out.

I made enough in the cash game to make up for it, so it’s not all rainclouds here. Still, I want to tune up my tournament game, and I feel pretty stupid sometimes. Grrr…

ALMOST TOO SOON AFTER POSTING TO MAKE NOTE OF UPDATE: And it’s GDMFing hard to play poker with your left thumb in a bandage that makes your left thumb as big as three of your left thumbs. Maybe I’ll post a picture later.

FUN, FUN UPDATE:

The silly part of the whole thing? I was reading a poker book in the emergency room, and the doc (a kid, barely shaving) noticed it and started talking about cards. After putting the magical foam that stops the bleeding* on my half-a-thumb, and everyone had cleared out, he snuck back in for names & numbers of my favorite legally-questionable rooms. Hopefully, that is one dr. bill that will make it’s way back into my pocketbook.

* And why isn’t THAT available to the general public? I never would have bothered with an EMERGENCY room if I’d had some in the first aid kit. It was hardly an emergency, despite the fact that it looked like I’d slaughtered a hog in the bathroom.

Northwest Outsources Flight Attendants ($)

I’m thinking, hot-pants and go-go boots again. Think you’d have any trouble finding VCs if you wanted to do a contractor/supplier start-up?

This actually makes plenty of sense. Standardized training, dispersed contractor work-force, super-flex scheduling, transferable skills. Air travel is a commodity, anyway. Most everything else surrounding it is outsourced. Why not this, too?

…and I’m in my cups, so I leave you all with one of the main reasons why America will always be great — the Musky Queen.

That’s in Chicago, by the way…get on your horse now. AND, I want you all to think of a beauty queen crown we can pull off down here at the Tiny Bidness. Best suggestion gets to be a judge.

Alt hed: Meaningless gestures are still gestures.

Where would we be without journalists to pick over the White House Proclamations page and bitch because there’s not an o-fficial Katrina proclamation and mandatory nation-wide flag-lowering? Kee-rist.

I honestly can’t think of anything more irrelevant or completely not-really-helpful than a freaking government proclamation of anything. Hot air…federal hot air…tax-dollars hot air. Like everybody’s sitting on their hands waiting for a proclamation. Show me one person, besides mediots who just want to bitch, who is moved because of a proclamation. Jesus. I think I could live the rest of my life without hearing another government proclamation. There’s some budget-dollar-savings for ye — how much do they pay the proclamation writers? And how many are there? Jeff could then hire them to write About.com Proclamation blogs.

UPDATE: O, sing hallelujah! The day is saved:

Honoring the Memory of the Victims of Hurricane Katrina Proclamation
A Proclamation by the President of the United States of Amercia

As a mark of respect for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, I hereby order, by the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States of America, that the flag of the United States shall be flown at half-staff at the White House and on all public buildings and grounds, at all military posts and naval stations, and on all naval vessels of the Federal Government in the District of Columbia and throughout the United States and its Territories and possessions until sunset, Tuesday, September 20, 2005. I also direct that the flag shall be flown at half-staff for the same period at all United States embassies, legations, consular offices, and other facilities abroad, including all military facilities and naval vessels and stations.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fourth day of September, in the year of our Lord two thousand five, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirtieth.

GEORGE W. BUSH

Now we sit back and wait for all the Leftoids to get diarrhea-mouth about empty gestures from Chimpy McBusHitler.

Charles “Chuckles” Austin:

I haven’t setled completely on what to do yet, but I’m thinking about folding this blog up and starting a new one called “My Life Among the Savages“, because that is what reading papers and blogs feels like these days.

It do feel that way, sometimes. Well, like I say, the nuts will always be with us. I just never would have guessed so many would have interwebs access.

It’s a really pointless (but important) list:

Honorable Mention Texas Toast : the staple of BBQ joints everywhere, it’s sopping factor is to be applauded. Whether it’s cream gravy or BBQ sauce, nothing else will do.

#5 Generic white/wheat sandwich bread : this will do. Nothing special. Butter Spreadability & Absorption (BS&A) factor is low — use softened butter only, or bread will tear. Crunchability is minimal, absent burning.

#4 Jewish Rye : an occasional appearance in the TFG pantry due to my sandwich preferences, this is a really good toast. The lighter ryes make for better browning, but darker ryes are good, too. BS&A is low to medium. General thinness of slices work against BS&A, but density of good rye makes up for it. Good Crunchability.

#3 English Muffin : muy delicioso, Special-Occasion toast. Excellent Crunchability, especially under tightly-controlled conditions. Superb BS&A — since each muffin has a crust, you may liberally apply butter. One-quarter stick per muffin half is possible, but one-eighth stick is recommended to avoid butter waste. Most difficult toast, though. Hard to cut, and requires a close eye on the toasting process — best toasting mechanisms are prohibitively expensive, as well.

#2 Bagel : hard to find good ones, but they make a complete meal when you can. Another Special-Occasion toast. BS&A discarded for this entry. Apply Cream Cheese Load Factor (CCLF) instead. Should support one (1) tsp of cream cheese per bite. Recommend that users splurge on wacky cream cheeses, like green onion, jalapeno, etc.

#1 Hand-sliced Sourdough : ideal starting condition is from home-made loaf. If home-made is unavailable, then store-bought unsliced loaf is acceptable. Each slice should be as thick as index finger. BS&A earns top spots — density of sourdough supports one-eighth to one-half stick per slice, depending on size of starting loaf (a function of surface area, actually). Crunchability depends on toasting time, more than anything: the darker the better, but avoid burning - sourdough can be stinky when burned. CCLF can be high, but requires attention — it’s a good idea to test CCLF about once every four to six weeks. Sourdough is the best tasting on this list, too, further solidifying it’s unshakeable hold on Numero Uno in the toast world.

All toast should be consumed with one large glass of very cold Vitamin D whole milk (Schepp’s is my preferred brand, and Borden’s is acceptable when Schepp’s is not available). Jelly is not a part of my routine, as I am already as sweet as the day is long. It is an acceptable accoutrement, as long as you don’t glop it all over — glopping should be reserved for cream cheese on bagels. Highly recommend that a nice strong cup of black coffee be available before, during, and after toast consumption.

Remember that the storm swell didn’t engulf New Orleans, nor did the storm destroy the levees directly. The city flooded after the storm had receded.

I’m pretty sure that the “storm” is still “receding” somewhere up near the Hudson Bay right now.

And this is one of the smart lefties I read. Here’s one of the dumb ones: bitching about the 2006 budget that caused this disaster — which, well, starts at the end of September — 31 days into the future. What I particularly enjoy is the “definitive proof” link leads to a story about a contractor for ACE that can’t seem to get paid on time. NO! In Louisiana? Stop the presses!

I love this kind of stuff: But what does Nostradamus have to say? Glad you asked!

But wait! Didn’t some egghead figure out that the true number of the beast was 616? Man, I hate that…all those hours of conspiratorializing gone to waste. And the mess they all left…freaking Freemasons. You’d think they could square the rumpus room away before they go home…

Human Cannonball Soars Across U.S. Border

Except someone forgot this is a pure hayseed moment, and got all artsy-fartsy philosophical about it:

Tellez called the project “living sculpture” and said it was about “dissolving borders” between the United States and Mexico and between mental health patients and the rest of the world.

“David Smith is a metaphor for flying over human borders, flying over the law, flying over everything that is established,” he said

Whatever, dude…we know a human cannonball when we see one, and they’re rarely not worthy of a grin. Don’t ruin the moment with your rickety “metaphor” talk, m’kay?

* What can I say? It’s a good Hayseed day, I guess.

Farmer May Have Caught Legendary ‘Chupacabra’ : What he found in his trap was a mix between a hairless dog, a rat and a kangaroo.

Poor little critter in the trap

Man, I love a chupacabra story…

Good ol’ Jeffro:

Interesting… so imagine if rather than having to go to companies for service — and waiting on hold and waiting and waiting… — the companies came to us! What a concept.

Haven’t we seen this before? Telemarketing, anyone? We had to make it a federal case to get it go away?

…you see this headline, Study Details Bar at Center of Milky Way, and wonder if you’ve ever been there.

Timewasting for you while you’re on hold:
Tim Bob Rogers at D believes in the global warming baloney, finds letter to Mayor Mommy from local dude, wondering why she’s not doing more to fix it, reminds me of a Voyage to Arcturus post I ran across yesterday that explains global warming is occurring on Mars (where there are no fossil fuels or hausfraus driving Hummers (that we know of)), and the ignored fact that it is all caused by that big yellow orb up in the sky.

Most humorous aspect of this is the idea that mayors* should be getting involved with the Kyoto Protocols. Your tax dollars at work, kids…and you thought it was for cops and potholes.

TFG…connecting the dots so you don’t have to.®

* Somehow, the busybody in the mayor’s office in Dallas has taken a pass so far. Probably busy thinking up new ways to sell the Trinity River Project to idiot voters again.

What’s the official position of the AMA or whoever on taking your blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol pills with a slug of beer?

Spent six hours in airports and on planes today…kinda twitchy right now. If they ever allow in-flight cell-phone calls, watch for air rage incidents to go through the roof. Just saying…

…and push me out on it. I lost track of two reservations today, didn’t get the all of the phone-calling done I need to get done, and I thought it was Tuesday all damn day long. Something’s gotta give, and it looks like it’s going to be my brain.

I still have a big frame - call me Mr. Husky, been that way forever — so if you need a brick hauler, I’m pretty sure that I can get trimmed up pretty fast and give you a good day’s work. Lemme know.