“Well you should lose some weight and shave your chest!”
- a chesty young barmaid to a regular, screamed, nay, shrieked

Cracked the whole place up, and I mean, in tears.

I wanted to examine the psyhological longings for a neutered anodyne of herself, but I was laughing too hard, and I felt sorry for her, and the old boy deserved it.

Colby Cosh: Sean Avery is a bad, bad boy, thank God - Full Comment

On the day of a game against the Flames, he practically herded the media together like a border collie in order to declare that “it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds.”

Phaneuf has been dating Avery’s ex-girlfriend, the Calgary-born actress Elisha Cuthbert, for some time now, and another player, ex-Oiler Jarret Stoll, is what tabloids call the “squeeze” of another Avery ex, model Rachel Hunter. Avery was almost pathetically eager to deliver the line, suggesting that he had put a lot of effort into coming up with it. Nearby teammates gasped audibly, and Avery succeeded in tying the press so thoroughly in knots that many newspapers refused to print what he said, while others inserted it right into headlines.

I’m with Colby on this one, for far lesser reasons, of course. The man’s a professional athlete, and sundry phrases like “sloppy seconds” are the way guys talk, and it’s true, and I defy you to show me different. Don’t like it? Don’t be a sports fan. Simple, see? Go watch that Dancing with America’s Top Stewardesses show that’s such a barnburner.

On the other hand, being a non-Coshian Stars fan, it seems the entire Stars team, down to the dude who drives the truck for the guy who buys grinder wheels for the skate sharpening machine, is glad he’s gone. If it takes the suspension of a crude-talking forward to spark-plug my boys to the top of their game, well, I’ll take it while I weep at the pussification of the world (again.)

However, let me be clear - the phrase “sloppy seconds”, while rough, is true. Yall can like it or not. You’ll find me over here on the WTF? Not Politically Correct side. I mean, c’mon — dude from the barely-fourth major sport in North America whom I’ve never heard of before bags not one, but two, extraordinary exemplars of female. Gotta hand it to him. You just gotta.

Commentary: Sexism sneaks in over open mic - CNN.com

But it is fascinating to me that that is the quality being highlighted here as so perfect. C’mon. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff is married with two grown children. His predecessor, Tom Ridge, had a family. Anybody remember a debate about whether they would have trouble balancing the demands of work and family?

Gee, I don’t know, you dumb twat. Perhaps you could have one your aides go back thru your networks commentary about a woman with a family and her abilities, and fill you in?

It’s crazy-making over here — these people don’t even realize the horrifying damage they do to basic animalistic logic by their uncomprehending juxtaposition. They’re goddamned fools, the bubble-headed bleach blondes and the manipulative bastards behind them.

Jayski’s® NASCAR Silly Season Site - NASCAR Sprint Cup News Page

NASCAR Sprint Cup Awards Banquet Live on ESPN Classic: Surrounded by the glitz and glamour of New York City, Jimmie Johnson will officially be crowned as the 2008 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series champion during the series’ annual awards banquet Friday night, Dec. 5, at the Waldorf-Astoria.

Precisely (I took a quick count) zero NASCAR fans think that New York City is glitzy and glamorous — it’s filthy, crowded, and full of douchebags who could use a Cale Yarborough ass-whipping. This thing should be at the Charlotte Super 8 out on in the interstate between the Waffle House and Shoney’s. That’s the heart of NASCAR, not some poncy Manhattan hotel.

Import the whores, if you must…I reckon they’ll get on a plane.

Palin implores Ga. Republicans to back Chambliss - Yahoo! News

“Losing an election doesn’t mean we have lost our way,” the former vice presidential candidate told a cheering crowd of 2,500 on Monday in the central Georgia town of Perry. “If we are to lead again, we have lots of hard work ahead of us. Let it begin here tomorrow in Georgia.”

That would be two thousand and five hundred people on a holiday season Monday before a run-off election. Of course, it’s just Georgia, which I’m sure impresses not a single one of the big brains living the coastal life.

Via Ace…

Michael Calderone’s Blog: Report: Gregory is next MTP host - Politico.com

I’m so disengaged I don’t even know who this man is or why it should matter. “Meet the Press” — oo, hoo, here’s a bunch of clowns, whee! Look, we’re talking to very important somebodies, wahoo!

No, the bottom line is that I don’t really want to meet the press — they’re a bunch of bad-hair rummies who unapologetically run up my bar tab. That’s just anecdotal — it might be different elsewhere.

I swapped out this junky, nasty, OEM Rochester Quadrajet:

For this nice fresh re-built Carter AFB:

Carter carbs are basically the Edelbrock Performer carb. I could have put on the Eddy, a brand new one, for the same price, but there’s something about an old classic sitting on top of the rat 454. I had to search for a while to find this one, but I wanted that front plate.

Now all I need is a new air cleaner, and I can button it up for a while, and go back to the ‘69 stepside 292.

Broadband Politics | Dancing with the Scientists

Six weeks ago, the Gonzo Scientist challenged researchers around the world to interpret their Ph.D. research in dance form, film the dance, and share it with the world on YouTube

Isaac Newton and William Shakespeare would be so proud of us. Thanks, Dick.

Marine Makes Insurgents Pay the Price

“The biggest thing to take from that day is what Marines can accomplish when they’re given the opportunity to fight,” the sniper said. “A small group of Marines met a numerically superior force and embarrassed them in their own backyard. The insurgents told the townspeople that they were stronger than the Americans, and that day we showed them they were wrong.”

During the battle, the designated marksman single handedly thwarted a company-sized enemy RPG and machinegun ambush by reportedly killing 20 enemy fighters with his devastatingly accurate precision fire. He selflessly exposed himself time and again to intense enemy fire during a critical point in the eight-hour battle for Shewan in order to kill any enemy combatants who attempted to engage or maneuver on the Marines in the kill zone. What made his actions even more impressive was the fact that he didn’t miss any shots, despite the enemies’ rounds impacting within a foot of his fighting position.

“I was in my own little world,” the young corporal said. “I wasn’t even aware of a lot of the rounds impacting near my position, because I was concentrating so hard on making sure my rounds were on target.”

Being who I am, I want to know what the hell he was shooting to go 20 for 20. Snipers get some good equipment, God love ‘em. But it’s the “I was in my own little world” part that grabs me and shakes me. That’s Audie Murphy territory.

We are a blessed people.

Gorbachev Looks Forward to New U.S. Policy Under Obama - FOXNews.com Transition Tracker

MOSCOW — Former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev said Thursday that the overwhelming election of Barack Obama shows that Americans want change, and he called on the incoming president to extend his promised changes to U.S. relations with Russia and Iran.

I guess this is kind of the same thing as interviewing Jimmy Carter or some pickled Senate majority leader from 3 decades ago. Pointless, unfulfilling, and tedious but it has to be done. Kind of the press in a nutshell - they’ve got a template, and by God, they’re going to fill it.

Is there a single person in America who gives a shit what Gorby has to say at this late date, anyway? Guy’s been pounding vodka and over-the-hill gymnasts for 15 years now. As he should be.

I went out to Pick-n-Pull this morning and found just about everything on my list for the 78 Chebbie. Gonna go back tomorrow and get most of it.

Because, personally, I’m gonna be fine.

I worry about the old folks and about the little babies but mostly about the old folks. Because I understand how hard it is to adapt.

Meanwhile, here’s some Bob Newhart for you:

Nice, huh?

I came home from a few quick snorts at the Bitter Old Guy Lounge, and found a Bill Cosby movie on, where he talks about boozing:

I haven’t laughed so hard in years. I need to find this on DVD — the super-funny stuff is when he gets to being a parent.

Seriously, I’m thankful I grew up with this guy around. It frightens me how much he influenced me, still, to this day.

Craig Henry, who should really write more, grasps the nettle - I quote in full, with all apologies for being a jerk, but it’s an important part of this whole media-driven Nervous Nellie discussion about the death of conservatism:

Perhaps someone can explain this to me

Right after the 9/11 attacks, Ann Coulter wrote an over the top column that called for vigorous action against the terrorists and their supporters. “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.”

That was too much for National Review and the magazine eventually stopped running Coulter’s column.

In Coulter’s defense, her rant was written in the immediate aftermath of an atrocity and Coulter lost friends in the attack.

Nonetheless, Naional Review felt compelled to distance itself from Coulter for her insulting attacks on Muslims. Perfectly defensible.

Now, fast forward seven years. There is no terrorist attack, but the Republicans lose a hard fought election. One Kathleen Parker writes a series of columns attacking social conservatives and Evangelical Christians.

Somehow, Parker remains in good standing with National Review. They still run her column despite its bigotry towards the very conservatives that NR presumes to lead.

Oogedy-boogedy, in the words of Miss Parker. Mrs. Parker. WTFever.

See, there seriously is a disconnect between the so-called house organs, and the people they are selling organs to. Personally, I don’t know when it will reconnect, if it’s possible, or will something replace it? It’s about time for one of those.

Personally, I never subscribed to NR and I read it only irregularly. It reminds me too much of the things I dislike about all media — that incestuous circle-jerk of trust-fund English majors. In their defense, they have a large share of people typing for them who aren’t that way. Christopher Buckley, on the other hand, is so far ahead of the example pack, they’ve already called the race.