Numero uno, you won’t likely find me out wearing a funny hat at midnight. I know that’s disappointing to my legions of fans, but the idea of being awake tonight at midnight makes me want to take a nap right now. I have no doubts that I’ll be sawing logs as the clock ticks over, and that is right & proper for a decrepit 51 year-old, despite what the glitterati would tell you. Besides, as is noted by all committed rummies, this is Amateur Night, and if you’re not at a hotel ballroom with a room a short elevator ride away, you’re just asking for trouble. From the drunks on the road, to the mean drunks who are looking for a fight, to the coppers who are looking to pad their DWI stats — there’s just very little upside these days.
Numero two-o, this has definitely been the weirdest year of my life, what with the lung cancer diagnosis, and all the fall-out from that. So bloody much of the fallout is mental, too. The physical part, that’s manageable, at least so far, just by conserving strength and managing diet and taking the right approach. The mental side, though, man, it’s like the Daytona 500 running in my head every waking moment. The biggest issue for me is just how far ahead I should be looking. Hell, there was a time back in September that I was no way sure I’d make it to this day. Now, after the first round of treatment is done and was (I guess) fairly successful, I’m getting physical strength back, and I’m ready to go do productive things again. But wait — I have more chemo to go, and I have to be short-term about that: do I have enough soup, rice, hot chocolate, Stouffer’s meat loaf teevee dinners, etc., in case it knocks me flat on my ass? And if it does, what the hell else does that mean? Bah — that, at least, I’ll find out in the next week, plus. But three, four months out? Who knows? Nobody but God. So, barring a flash of Heavenly Guarantees, I have to kind of keep my horizon at about one to two months, which is most likely the shortest time frame I’ve ever planned for in my life. Hell, I used to keep a rolling five-year plan that I updated every quarter, with goals and milestones and crap. Been a while since I did that, what with the necessity of finding business and making a living and indulging some part of my inventor side.
The bottom line for me, if there is one, is that I reckon 2012 is going to be even weirder than 2011 for me personally. That’s fine and all. I’ve done weird for my whole life. I’m still mystified how I ended up riding some of the waves I’ve rode over the years. But God has a plan for me, somewhere, somehow, and I’m just going to take comfort in that. We’ll see if it becomes apparent, and if it does, that’s what we’ll do, and if it doesn’t, we’ll just keep making it up as we go along.
For you, dear reader, I have nothing but the best wishes for 2012, and that it be just weird enough to make you happy. I thank you for stopping by this dusty, stale-beer-and-Marlboro-smelling corner of the internet. It’s been my great good fortune to have so many kind folks along for the Klown Kar ride this life has become, and it humbles me to be so blessed. Happy New Year!