I did not know this part existed:

“You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called ‘change,’” Obama continued, “it’s still gonna stink after eight years.”

This is the guy who’s going to talk Ahmadinejad and Putin and whatever cardboard Mao cutout is running China into peaceful co-existence and a roaring global economy? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, you can’t possibly be serious.

I guess next we get “unintended” jokes about dull razors and bad meatloaf recipes. Christ, Progressives — do you realize what you’ve done? I trusted you to at least elevate Not An Asshole. I took you at your word that Barry was a skillful speaker with a big bag of Change and Hope (ill-defined, but still.) This is what I get? You’re a bunch of fantasists.

The Corner on National Review Online

Kathryn, having decided to elect him President and Community Organizer-in-Chief, the World will not be happy if those hopelessly parochial Yank knuckledraggers decline to endorse the World’s decision as to who should govern them and their ghastly backwater. Already, there are awful mutterings from The Guardian:

The World’s Verdict Will Be Harsh If The US Rejects The Man It Yearns For

You mean economic sanctions? Expulsion from the Olympics? Moving the Oscars to Belgium? Jonathan Freedland isn’t spelling it out but he’s not happy:

Agree or not (I do), that guy can pull the words together. “hopelessly parocial Yank knuckledraggers” is screamingly fine.

Lookie here — “lipstick on a pig” is an old saying, and I don’t mind Barry using it even a tiny bit.

However, to be so big a dumbass to not even fathom the connection between the big laugh line from Palin last week and how your latest oratorical rhetoric Genius might get conflated — well, that’s just plumb stupid. Or arrogant. Take your pick. I’m going with c) all of the above, having watched this jerkoff hack his way to the top of the ticket.

Of course, if McCain said something equally ancient, like, “get a rope,” well, he’d be hounded to hell and back for his innate racism, rather than acknowledge that out in the West they hung a bunch of horse thieves regularly, and it filters down as shorthand. All this touchy-feely instant-victim bullshit needs to stop, IMHO, or nobody will ever be able to say a word.

And I’m still poleaxed by the idea that this schmuck is widely considered the next William Jennings Bryan. Who hands out these awards? He sucks as a public speaker. I’ve heard stand-in youth ministers deliver better. I’ve heard three-sheets-to-the-wind barflies deliver better. I think all these media jagoffs spend so much time trenchantly peering into each other’s assholes that they’ve never actually heard a public speech until The Black Guy started giving them.

World wants Obama as president: poll - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

US Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama may be struggling to nudge ahead of his Republican rival in polls at home, but people across the world want him in the White House, a BBC poll said.

And I’m quite sure “people across the world” have the best interests of Americans at heart.

No, what they know, just by watching, is that BNMIO will be seriously inclined towards sending more US dollars in foreign aid that might find a way into their pocketbook/frying pan.

An-t-way, thanks for the advice, people of the world. Now get back to fixing your own damn problems, and leave us the hell alone. Or emigrate, where you have to live with your choices.

Besides, when it’s over, he might have some free time on his hands to do some community organizing in your country. Get your bids in now.

…but lifelong friend and not-often-enough commenter KM has reminded me that they’re gonna put the batteries in the Large Hadron Collider over in France tomorrow morning at 2:30am Texas time. Might should fit in a couple of cool ones tonight, then set the alarm for a quick shot of Bulleit’s.

As I told him, that means that all this survivalist-nut preparedness, where I’ve been planning for large regional natural disasters, nuclear attacks from angry Musselmen, national-scale civil war, or Texas secession (heh, heh), is for naught and all my guns and ammo are gonna be gone in a nanosecond if the worriers are right. And I won’t even have time to pat myself on the back for being such a bad-ass.

However, the first high-energy smash-up happens in mid-October, so I might still have a window to be the only alpha-male for blocks and thus a haven for juggy barmaids seeking shelter. A boy can dream, right? Fingers crossed (at the least I hope I get to use all this gunpowder on paper targets and tin cans and computers and crap.)

I’m simply outraged. What will they find next? Improper labeling of moose meat stored in her freezer?

My sainted mother, one of the most stalwart Democrat-For-Lifers ever, raised in a Depression-aware household with FDR’s picture in the kitchen, just forwarded a chain email about Governor Sarah Palin. It was about her faith.

It take some seriously screwed-up politickin’ to potentially lose my mama’s (D) vote. Not saying it means anything, just a data point.