DRUDGE REPORT FLASH 2005®

OPRAH’S STATEMENT: “The item in today’s Drudge Report is categorically untrue. There has been absolutely no discussion about having Sarah Palin on my show. At the beginning of this Presidential campaign when I decided that I was going to take my first public stance in support of a candidate, I made the decision not to use my show as a platform for any of the candidates. I agree that Sarah Palin would be a fantastic interview, and I would love to have her on after the campaign is over.”

Well, any of the candidates, except for your man, the Other O, O the 2nd. He fits in well over there, kind of a feng shui deal…a nice piece of furniture and weepy as the day is long. I can’t wait till the week after the election, and yall can have a nice girly commiserating chat about injustice and shit.

Chicago Machine Hacks. How many times do I have to type it? Do you want your life run by these people? Hack, hack, hack.

Stupidity: Don’t you just love how the Drudge Report is a time machine to 3 years ago? Go, click the link, I’m not making that shit up.

Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?: Obama vs. Snowmama

It occurs to me: If Obama’s experience in this presidential campaign is itself to be considered one of his qualifications for the Oval Office, what are we to make of his performance over the last few days? Is this an indication of how he deals with adversity? Because — and this may be unfair — it seems to me that over the next 4 years, the President of the United States will face much tougher challenges than watching a cute lady with glasses make fun of him on TV.

I’d cry so bad if he didn’t like someone I liked. Or me.

Jim Treacher needs to be on someone’s payroll, stat. He’s one of those guys that would make it fun to be filthy stinking rich. I’m working on it.

Declarations - WSJ.com

Campbell Brown of CNN did nothing wrong for instance in pressing a campaign spokesman on Palin’s foreign policy credentials. She was unjustly criticized for following an appropriate and necessary line of inquiry

…if Campbell Brown, the acme of Don Henley’s bubble-headed bleach blonde verse, had shown one-nanteenth of that pressing of an appropriate and necessary line of inquiry with anyone from the Progessive side of the aisle. Rather pointedly, she doesn’t. She plain doesn’t. Her smiley, head-shaking journalist schtick has grown tireseome, you see. And your’s, too, dear, if you can’t see that.

…Whisky Tango Foxtrot. Right?

So I’m gonna go see ol’ pothead Opie Hendrix up in San Marcos. He always loved my latest ex more than me, but I think he’s a damn fine musician. Well worth 45 minutes of driving — this is Texas, after all…that’s only one county away.

Pray for me, as the rubber boot has come off my governor and the cable’s stretched pretty tight and I don’t much care no more.

LEARNED MY LESSON UPDATE: Big mistake. I’m too old for this shit any more. I guess I need to give up on the music stuff, get my golf game in shape, or something.

Jim Treacher, long-time favorite of TFG, is blogging up a storm again at his old-time joint, and I couldn’t be happier.

Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?: You can call a woman a bad mother for not forcing her daughter to have an abortion, and claim that the same woman didn’t actually give birth to her own son…

…but don’t you dare ask what a community organizer actually does.

A commenter at QandO was nice enough to explain the difference between Obama Black Nixon and Palin:

Jesus was a community organizer. Pilate was a governor.

To which I replied:

And last night was the crucifixion.

Hey, you know who else was a community organizer? Don Corleone.

He’s actually funny.

Whereas, this lame shit is seriously not: Sarah Palin Jokes: Is McCain’s V.P. Making Politics Funny Again? Am I just too old and over-exposed to comedy? Am I spoiled by serious comedic geniuses like the Monty Python gang, Bill Cosby, the original SNL crew? Have I read everything already that’s ever going to be funny (ed: no, see Treacher above)? You can see these “jokes” coming a mile away…they quit being funny back in high school, yet these tools are making crazy money re-telling them. Whatever they are, funny, or lame, I got the link from the great Banjo Jones.

DILEMMA: OPRAH BALKS AT HOSTING SARAH PALIN; STAFF DIVIDED

I’d like to suggest that Sarah Palin doesn’t need the victimization schtick that is Oprah’s stock-in-trade. What’s she going to miss by not getting on the crying couch? Being stage-managed by an in-the-bag Chicago Machine operator? Speaking directly to 40 gajillion weepy hausfraus? OK, I guess that makes sense — if you can make them weep, you’re golden, but you’re not going to get that chance from the first O.

Same goes for The View (a show I’m only barely aware of, thanks to it’s constant mockery on sports radio.)