If you’re of that bent, of course:

Pittsburgh cancer center warns of cell phone risks - Yahoo! News

The head of a prominent cancer research institute issued an unprecedented warning to his faculty and staff Wednesday: Limit cell phone use because of the possible risk of cancer.

Whatever. Bacon, grilled beef, Marlboros, jalapenos, cell phones, flouridated water, drunk drivers, loaded guns, lightening, smoked meats, solvents, Hurricane Dolly, Copenhagen, Washington apples, aluminum in your deodorant, lead paint, nuclear energy, nuclear missiles, gasoline, greenhouse gases — just frikkin’ whatever.

I guess I could just stay in bed under the covers, but that’s the day the Gulfstream V, owned by a high-flying entrepreneur coked to the gills on the way to Cabo San Lucas with his juggy 20yo Estonian “personal assistant” intern, develops a leak in the potty bulkhead, and I’ll be killed by a falling iceball of Ketel One, Opus One, and Veuve Cliquot piss. Who wins that one?

Gimme the keys, gimme a beer, and gimme the phone…let’s go get some enchiladas, and then we can go bowling.