Yeah, if you eat it
Posted by TFG on July 1st, 2008
Jesus H. Christ — “coal makes us sick, oil makes us sick.” I give you the Democratic Senate Majority Leader, who by the way has blocked any enviro-weenie attempt to store nuclear waste in the desert where no one lives for a long damn time.
Fine, you miserable twat — quit using it, your own damned free-riding Senatorial self. Start with your fricking Brylcreem. I’ll take your share, and I’ll use it to make lures for largemouth bass, like God intended for his people to use the bubbling crude. I might let people buy some from me to make their gay-ass hydration bottles they clutch to their breasts the same way my 2-year old grandson clutches his not-environmentally-impactful Piggy. * Why do I have to share not just the earth, but my beloved America, with these pussies? Daniel Boone at least had a frontier to light a shuck for — I’m stuck.
* Here, I want to use the term faggots, like I used endlessly and loudly up to the 80s, until I learned that there are some mean, bad, smart homosexuals out there who are the folks I want by my side when the flag drops. Nancies, maybe? I dunno. Sissies, probably. I’m tired of these Maxi-Pad-wearing punks in national leadership positions getting press about such horseshit like “oil makes us sick.” Honestly, there needs to be a universally utterly dismissive phrase that captures the small-minded smallness of their eensie characters. NB: I still say faggot regularly, but usually under my breath to myself. I know what I mean.
July 1st, 2008 at 10:22 pm
can’t you just use “fucktard”?
July 1st, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Probably, but that seems so internet-y and GenX. I think I need to look back and not forward. Something like poltroon.
July 1st, 2008 at 11:31 pm
I started reading you way back on 04 or 05 and Thank God you haven’t changed a bit.
C’mon out to Vegas in December. Clear the calendar; I want to buy you a beer and share a minute with like-minded folk. Our other pokering not-as-like-minded friends will be there too, and I know they like you too.
You know, if we could get Congress to put the same energy into oil and coal and developing wind, solar and alternative fuels, all at the same time, then we’d easily be out of the woods.
The sooner they do that the sooner we can tell the whole Middle East OPEC fucktard poltroon oil-squirting cartel to go fuck themselves.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Its making us all sick, its killing us why just look at what is happening to life expectancy here in our own country it is down to…whats that? Never mind.
I think my gramps would have called them the relatively non-offensive “sidewinder” - although thinking back on that to his mind that might not have been a reference to a snake.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
If memory serves, somewhere in the back of Ernest Hemingway’s excellent bullfighting book, “Death in the Afternoon,” he goes into great detail about terms for the practicioners of the “love that dare not speak its name”-he was fascinated with such things.
But yeah, we have, in this country, a bunch of oil that can be pulled out of the ground and from shale (hundreds of years worth in Colorado, apparently, or maybe a couple thousand years worth, at current rates of usage), even if it’s not “easy” to get compared to the imported stuff. There’s also offshore oil-if Schwarzenegger doesn’t like it, well, send him and his anorexic Kennedy bride back to Österreich and let ‘em sulk. Coal to gas is a fine thing as well. Kim du Toit’s buddies in South Africa were working on that years ago, and the Sasol corporation (for one) knows all about it-apparently the process becomes profitable if the retail price of gasoline climbs over $1.50 per U.S. gallon, which it has, at least in my ‘hood. Seems to me instead of planning to junk all our cars and ride bikes and ‘lectric golf carts, it would be nice to come up with more fuel we can burn in the cars we already own as replacement automobiles are expensive, something the granolas and elected mandarins don’t seem to get.
Off-topic, but Herr Chaffin’s love of the Cuban sammich has led me down a winding road toward making my own version cheaply, which isn’t working very well, but I’ve discovered the wonders of the Jimmy John’s sub shop bread, which one can buy separately from the sandwiches, $2 per 17″ or so loaf, 50 cents for the day old stuff-great taste and wonderful crust, sez I.
The R Man
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I am a big fan of your blog.
I suggest the phase FUBAR-twit to describe the Senate Majority Leader.
FUBAR
US Army acronym: “Fucked Up Beyond All Repair”
Twit
An offensive term that deliberately insults somebody’s commonsense or consideration for others (slang insult)
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:45 pm
I would suggest “dumbass”.
Is this really one of our elected officials? Geez, I need a drink, he’s making me sick.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Your comments on this subject are nothing short of brillant. You were probably buzzed at the time you wrote them but it’s pure genius. I mean this shit would sell in a novel or a screen play. You don’t know how good this shit is. I love it.