So, my weekend plans kinda went non-linear, but that’s OK. There’s a ton of racing on the teevee. I wish I was on a river, but I don’t want to be anywhere near one this weekend, since you’ll be able to walk from one bank to the other on drunken sunburned toobers.

The real story, though, is that I had to follow through on my smoking plans. Last week, during a boozing session, I was talking to a local rancher, and he mentioned that he was going to kill some pigs soon, and did I maybe want one? Well, my answer was hellz yeah, hoss! Wait, how big are they? About this tall and about this long, says he. And that weighs how much, I ask. About 40-50 lbs, he replies. Hmmm…that’s a lot of damn pig. But, yeah, hellz yes…bring it on. So, last night, about 8:30, we made the transfer in the parking lot, and this morning, I set my cap to smoking a pig. Actually, I decided to only do one-half of the pig, since it’ll probably cook down to about 10-13 pounds, which I think I can manage to distribute amongst the legions of fans of my cooking here (my bidness partner, and my developer, mostly, and then some random dragboat gearhead barflys.)

So, here’s a little pictorial of the start of the day. I’ll try to remember to finish out the set when the little piggy that went to town is finished.

In the coffin, in the back of the hearse

Open coffin

Last moments whole

Reduced by half, most inexpertly

Rub, applied

Won’t see the light of day for at least six hours

I chopped the other half in half (quarters?), and inexpertly wrapped it in freezer paper for the next time

NIGH ON LATE UPDATE:

Rib cage — very little meat here — very disappointing.

One of the legs. Hocks. Hams. Whatever…

Another leg, or the same one?

About 2/3rds fills up a big mixing bowl

Finally finished, and packed away.

Honestly, I’m never doing that again, unless I have a damn platoon over here to feed. Or maybe I’ll get Murphy to quarter the SOB for me. Well, tomorrow, I’m going to try a couple of Carolina mustard-vinegar sauce recipes. I like that thin, tart sauce — not as much as Mr. Stubblefield’s, from Lubbock, but it’s still kinda good. I think the Carolinans love their brown sugar too much, though, based on what I’ve found, and they aren’t overly fond of pepper. Some of the recipes I’ve seen, they might as well just warm up a bottle of dark Karo syrup and pour it on their food.

Perhaps I’ll work up my own thin vinegary sauce while I’m at it, one that has no sugar and a fistful of cayenne, based on white vinegar, with some japs minced in. Tart is good, and spicy-tart is best. Firemouth, kinda Cajuny, but more Texas.

My next project is going to be boiling some Maryland blue crabs. I understand that you can get them shipped to you live overnight. I have no idea why I’m fixated on that, but I am. Anyone want to kick in, and we’ll double the order? I’d like to try to jack some Texas into that, if possible. Mix some powdered jalapeno into the Old Bay, maybe use Shiner as the steaming agent. I dunno. Something.