The Declaration of Non-Dependency @ AMERICAN DIGEST

This situation has made us poorer than we would otherwise have been. There are a lot of things here at home we could have spent the money on — schools, infrastructure, scholarships, lower taxes, aid to dependent children, the kind of local American charities that always need help such as the grossly underfunded “You can send Al Sharpton a ball gag or you can turn the page” Relief Organization. We hope you’ll understand when we say we need just a year or so of working the “Charity begins at home” concept in order to catch up.

It’s also more than a little depressing to wake up every day and find that the New York Times (The One-World-Except-America voice in America) blathering on and on about how stingy and uncaring Americans are. (As if the Sulzberger family was ready to give up a few billion here and there until it hurt.) Whew, we just can’t get no respect from the retarded scions of “One-World” families and the forelock tugging “journalists” who batten off their bloated weal.

Hence, we are taking the a couple of years off not only to save many, many billions of dollars, but for a time of reflection and boosting of the old “self-esteem.” After all, you can’t help others unless you feel good about yourself.

Let’s elect this man preznit and then we can all get back to work, whattaya say?