Everything seemingly is spinning out of control - Yahoo! News

Skip on by — I just wanted to blog that idiotic headline for future reference. 10-1 the whole article will be gone in a few days, but I love the whole idea of 21st century journalism (journalism!) pondering the imponderable idea that everything is spinning out of control. Frankly, the idea that someone with a degree wrote not just the headline but the story it hovers above is a good sign that everything is indeed spinning out of control. Not quite the spin or the control they mean, but still…si se puede, bitches.

Lookie here…George Carlin was a pretty funny guy, but his admirers are a tedious bunch (and lordalmighty, they’ve come out of the fooking woodwork), given to lavish swoops of praise and pedantry that are more commonly attributed to Ayn Rand fans, who are much less regularly encountered in daily life. But there’s never not some pothead standing around doing an interpretive wink-wink-nudge-nudge Carlin routine, hungrily awaiting praise from the proles he despises.

Regardless, even though he was an atheist and let everybody know it, I hope he made it through the Pearly Gates intact and isn’t just worm-food. That would be sad.

Me, I’ve seen two comedic geniuses in my life: Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor. George Carlin ain’t a patch on either one of them. George’s wallet doesn’t say Bad Motherfucker on it…it says Check Out My Big Brain, but it was never quite as big as he planned. It was big, fershur, just nothing to write home about.

THE TEXAS SCRIBBLER: The June Swoon

It’s touching, if a trifle saddening, to watch Mr. Boy become such a fan of the Texas Rangers baseball team.

Whatever. It’s not like Dick’s driving to Houston nightly to watch crappy Astro games against the Pirates or the Taterpeelers or whatever wanders down I-45. It’s just that typical south-of-Hillsboro Texas obeisance to frickin Swamptown.* Everybody knows how much I detest my home town of Dallas these days, but I’ll never not love my Rangers.

* The razor-sharp exception is Los Vaqueros. Not hard to understand, given the Bayou City’s inefficacy come nut-cutting Super Bowl Time. Me, I’m working on getting all these Mexicans on the Stars’ Aught-Nine Stanley Cup bandwagon right now, and I’m one persuasive mofo.

Obama To Hammer McCain On Offshore Drilling “Gimmick” - From The Road

Obama, who has argued that drilling will not immediately lower gas prices

Yeah, it’s a gimmick, you moron. I definitely don’t want my grandkids or yours to have that oil available. I absolutely positively don’t want any of my descendants to have any of the benefits of any possible thing we could do today.

That right there’s the problem — a sad, sober few care what happens down the line. Immediately, my ass — I’d be happy if you happy, humpy, hopie McChangersons might start giving a shit for a little further down the line than what oils your butt-plug manana. Fat chance of that, though. We seem to be run by a bunch of squalling wet-Red-diapered mama’s boys, ever shrieking “…but what about MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!?!”

I read a few months ago, almost literally ad nauseum, how all these smart young mofos loved The Wire because of how real it seemed to reflect the natural world to them.

Precisely 0.001% have learned one single solitary lesson from it. The main lesson being that the politician you think you’re getting, you ain’t getting nothing like him.

Life on the fringes of U.S. suburbia becomes untenable with rising gas costs - International Herald Tribune

I predict the man will do what’s right by his family, but he could be an Obamaniac and screw it all up by moving his kids into a nice 5th-floor walkup and telling them to fend for themselves. There’s a lot of that going around.