Way, way low

North Dakota and Montana have an estimated 3.0 to 4.3 billion barrels of undiscovered, technically recoverable oil in an area known as the Bakken Formation.

That’s significantly less than the 200-500 billion barrels posited by private industry. Not that I put a lot of stock in any gummint agencies estimates of anything, but still, that’s gotta be discouraging to lots of folks.

OK, then — you want energy independence for the US? Get the fuck out of the way. Turn the wildcatters loose on this. No bullshit about endangering bent-beak breast-beating sapsuckers. Let’s poke some holes in the ground and see what we get.

It’s the way we used to do it. It worked pretty good, till we got cheap oil from the Arabs. How bad do you want it, really?

Just a reminder:

I really think I should see these guys, and determine if they live up to their promise. Because that’s a pretty awesome video.

UPDATE: I fear I’m too old. I’m a little / nervous / ’bout what you think / when you see me

I hate this:

Stubb’s doors were plastered with the big red “51%.”

A barbecue joint, in downtown Austin, worried about handgun-bearing patrons? Are you kidding me? Well, I’m not — it’s those Mommy Staters, clamping down on us. They wrote ‘em up a law, anyway. And therefore my Wyoming pal was put off from what I consider some of the best BBQ in a state full of good BBQ.

That’s sucks, and it’s moronic. I’m embarassed, personally. We should be better than that. We always were before. Why’d we stop? My recollection, admittedly a pickled one, is that some hausfrau insisted that to we all do that so we could CCW. Frankly, CCW’s not worth it. Gimme open carry, and you women go trim your rose bushes or nurse some babies or whatever the hell it is you do. I’m looking at all you steers who agreed to this heinous business, too.

Gerard does some research about the upcoming Olympiad, or another seemingly important reasont.

I hope there never comes a time when I’m not enraptured by the lady in a swimsuit. They’re just so wonderful, it would be horrible not to be moved by them.

When I’m not, I’m going to drive my lawnmower to Mexico or something.

My daughter will either be heartbroken or have that heart stolen:

The quintet will perform in public for the first time in 14 years when they appear on U.S. morning show Today

Which one of those boy-bands was Justin Timberlake a part of — the Meatie-Cheesie Boys? And how did he get to latch on to some notoriety? Who picked him as the “good one” that gets commercials and Jessica Simpson’s boobies and stuff? Or was that another one? Whoever it was, I say slainte! to getting to grope Jessica Simpson. On the other hand, that music career? No, I don’t have a Rewards card, just gimme my damn roast and my smokes.

Awesomely frightening pic at Ace’s place. Looks like…every bar of douchebags across America, but especially Dallas. Gawd, when did cheap-looking shiny sportscoats get a dose of clap class? I haven’t seen that look since Dean Martin did roasts. Too bad Dean could sing rings around those punks, heh heh.

Two of my favorites, anyway - Zombie Strippers:

There’s nekkedity on that, if you’re bothered. I assume that all of my readers run their own show, anyway, and click where they like. If not, they know how to get around those “work firewalls.” If not, drop me a line and I’ll sell you the information.

But back to Zombie Strippers, or more precisely zombies — I’m still in the 12ga with 00 camp, but I’d prefer to have the 308 semi close by. Mine is an M1A. More TK on the zombies.

This is the first thing I’ve read about Howard Stern since I quit reading Jeff Jarvis’ mash notes to him.

So why does anyone, or should anyone, give a shit now (you might ask, because I did)? Well, I’ll tell you. Because the Sirius / XM merger has been approved and they need to get the word out to crank up the subscriber numbers.

I’ll use this space to number the moron’s press release announcements on blogs. Nothing would suit me better than to never update this post.

Probably yours, too:

I still don’t know why that grabbed me. Yeah, I do — crazed guitars and drums. You needed, badly, to go very dang fast.

Just like with guitars, which I never learned to play, I loved fast cars, but I never learned how to build one. I’m happy to watch the geniuses ply their trade in both arenas, thanks. I still want a Dodge Challenger in lime green with a hemi and a six-pack, though.

The Obama’s view on pies:

“The truth is, in order to get things like universal health care and a revamped education system, then someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more.”

I recently got a very gentle push-back when I said Barack NMI Obama was just to the right of Karl Marx. Well, if that ain’t “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.”, I’ll eat my fucking 10-gallon 10x silverbelly right damn now. Someone go on and explain how it’s not.

These elitists just never, ever, ever get that it’s possible to grow that damn pie. I detest them for their stupidity and the influence they have. All you have to do is look at history. Look at it. We’re not still living in caves = bigger damn pies. Why do people think that that’s all the pie we could ever possibly bake? Worse, that the pies we can bake are going to start getting smaller.

I feature it as megalomania of sorts. Know-it-alls. My mama had it right 40 years ago.

P.S. Just how long are we going to accept the feds throwing Hefty bags full of $100 bills at schools for an education system?

I’m given to understand, by my bidness podnah, that there are actually people giving money to other people in order to set up virtual conference rooms with avatars in places like that Second Life* thing, and that some of those same people are paying other people for anonymity guarantees for the avatars, and that some other bunch of those people are paying other people for de-anonymizing code because their valuable virtual presentations and meetings are being disrupted by unknown or unknowable avatars. Kind of like me virtually running rampant through a kickoff in a virtual Mexican wrestling mask, I guess. I never did that, you know, no matter what stories you hear.

This disturbs me on many levels, not least of which is that I couldn’t get funding for a real product that serves a $20BB market, and now I’m bootstrapping in my garage with code donated for a handle-bottle of vodka, an ass-pocket full of credit card bills, and lots of teeny-tiny Chinee knock-off components. It’s not that bad, either. I’d love some crazy fucking VC money for hookers and blow and a nacho cheese fountain, but this way, I’m going to own what I own. And I most likely won’t have an avatar dicking around on a virtual island conference package. Though if I did, it would be Sasquatch, and it would be controlled by my comely short-skirted Ukranian secretary while I’m playing First Life golf with the gang.

* Why did they invent Second Life? Because their first one sucked so damn bad. Still, millionaires…who can kick?

Bad weather, bad traffic, and frighteningly horrible Major League pitching”

Tuesday, however, offered the Rangers a rare chance to make a different impression on the 48,808 fans who braved a less-than-sunny forecast and the prospect of gnarled traffic because of construction around Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

Alas, it turns out the pitching may be a lot like the construction – it’s a work in progress.

In an 8-1 loss to Baltimore, Mesquite’s Jason Jennings walked the bases loaded in his first inning in Arlington. The bullpen was up by the third, and Jennings was gone before the end of the fifth.

That’s my hometown 9. And there’s not never been construction around the Ballpark. Or Arlington Stadium, for that matter.

67 bodies secretly exhumed from NM grave - Yahoo! News

I think that’s an AP story, presumably headlined by an AP editor.

The Bakken Trend: Lost Dutchmen Mine of the Oil Patch? - Seeking Alpha

Then the stuff of legends came, along with one geochemist by the name of L. C. Price. Mr. Price, working for the US Geological Survey [USGS] performed extensive chemical analysis of abandoned oil wells, primarily in North Dakota and came away with an astonishing conclusion—The Bakken trend contains up to 200 billion to 500 billion, yes that is with a “B”, of original oil in place.

Here is where the story starts to take on the likeness of the Lost Dutchman Mine of the Superstition Mountains.

Price turned in his report to the USGS in 1999 and the USGS started its own review of Price’s work. Price died in 2002 with the USGS still holding onto his report and refusing to release the findings of Price and the USGS Review.

Like the German immigrant miner, Jacob Walz, who claimed he had found the legendary gold of the Supersticion Mountains, Price died without vindication of his fantastic claim, like the Lost Dutchmen mine itself, the Bakken oil remained elusive and to some illusory, the stuff that makes a good story around bars filled with oil men.

To add to the legend, the USGS, 9 years later, still has refused to release Price’s report and their review of Price’s work citing, “Price’s unorthodox approach”. Even Federal Senator Byron Dorgan of North Dakota couldn’t pry the USGS loose with a demand for release of the two reports.

But then comes along oil geologist Richard Findley. Now the seeds of legend grow stronger. Findley, a highly competent geologist with a strong penchant for independent work, suffered for years scrimping by financially unable to interest anyone with money to invest in his ideas. Financial matters were so bad for Findley that Findley came close to leaving the oil business entirely.

True to the stuff of legends, he didn’t.

Findley reviewed old drilling logs and old seismic data from abandoned wells and fields in the Bakken. Findley, in a moment of true inspirational genius came to the conclusion that all other attempts at the Bakken had missed the oil source entirely and had drilled right through it bypassing the oil that lies between two shale layers. Findley got Lycos Energy of Houston interested in the theory and Lycos brought in Halliburton to try at that time new techniques of horizontal drilling and fracturing.

What Findley, Lycos and Halliburton discovered is the Elm Coulee Field in eastern Montana. Elm Coulee now pumps 45,000 to 50,000 barrels a day of light sweet crude, real Texas T, at a 40 to 42 degree API.

Further research reveals that other analysis by geochemists and geologists not associated with the USGS confirm that Price was in essence correct. The estimates range from a low of 10 billion barrels to confirmation of Price’s 200 to 500 billion barrel estimate. After Findley and company’s 1997 discovery of the Elm Coulee one would think the rush would be on, but It wasn’t and didn’t in the U.S. But Canada was a little different story.

I love oil-patch stories. Especially big fucking plays. I hope the NoDaks pump enough to rename it something besides Texas Tea.

Apparently, Thursday is the day the USGS releases their estimates of sweet light crude. Not tar sands, babies, sweet light crude. The stuff the Arabs found themselves sitting on after Texas oil men pointed it out to them.

The motivation to pull out another 100 billion barrels would be $9 trillion at todays prices.

Of course, being TFG readers, you know that the supply-side of the equation is going to make that $9,000,000,000,000 shrink a tad. Still, a trilliion here, a trillion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about some real money.

Now, let’s see just how many poor-mouthing sons-a-bitches pick this up and run with it. Thursday’s the day to watch. Me, I’m going to be driving to Laredo and working all day, but you best bet I’ll be checking that evening.

And Charles can go write his name in the snow on Al Gore’s grave, in May. In a V-10 Expedition. In a convoy of V-10 Expeditions. It must harelip the hell out of those assholes that we just keep finding oil.

NOTICERIA: If my long-lost pal, the Texas Jew, an oil-man of much renown, would chime in here, I’d appreciate it. Me, I just want to go sell Budweiser and burgers to the rough necks, but I’d love to hear what an expert thinks.

Whose idiotic idea was it to give the Olympics, a celebration of the individual athlete (for the most part), to the ChiComms?

I’ll buy their shirts and their underwear and their 2-of-5-DOA electronics, but don’t ask me to pretend that they give a damn about a regular human being achieving something above and beyond the state. Show me the Chinese Jim Thorpe or the Chinese Jesse Owens.

Please! No, really, it were just a joke. Or art. Or something.
Vodka Maker Apologizes for Ad Depicting Southwest as Part of Mexico

Pussies. Look at this faggotry:

“In no way was it meant to offend or disparage, nor does it advocate an altering of borders, nor does it lend support to any anti-American sentiment, nor does it reflect immigration issues,” Absolut said in a statement left on its consumer inquiry phone line.
[...]
Absolut said the ad was designed for a Mexican audience and intended to recall “a time which the population of Mexico might feel was more ideal.”

“As a global company, we recognize that people in different parts of the world may lend different perspectives or interpret our ads in a different way than was intended in that market, and for that we apologize.”

At least, at the absolute minimum, stand by your earlier randomoid markitechture blatherings, that it’s just an ad meant to sell Swedish vodka to Mexicans, instead of apologizing to hepped-up Americans. Which I guess this kind of does, in an extremely Eddie Haskell way. Nobody knows who Eddie Haskell is, so I think I can get away with this ridiculous analogy, Mr. Cleaver.

As just one dumb Texan, I will say this: “Piss on all yall.”