U.S. streets could soon be overrun with cats if communities fail to get a handle on growing feline populations, a veterinary medicine researcher says.

Cats, they say. Get that? Cats.

I’ve got enough ammo in reach of my only moderately-long arms to wipe out the entire feline population of my mile-long block. If I walk to the garage, I think I would find enough to wipe out the entire population of stupid cats in all of Hollywood Park all by myself, and that’s before I get to the sniper ammo. Not that I want to, of course — in one sense, I like cats because they are killing machines, unbounded by our petty human concerns of the beauty of the bird or the mouse or the lizard. OK, that’s the only sense in which I like cats, but I do have a certain respect for their voracious zombie-like killing ability.

So, I think, without thinking too hard, that we can get a handle on the damn cats. If needed. At least here in Texas. You kids in DC, you’re on your own.