Comments on: What a great insurance company!

By: Tom

Tom — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 20:13:17 +0000

I’m not sure they produce any bourbon that they don’t ship out of state. Hell, it’s illegal to drink in half of Kentucky, you’ve got to do something with it. We make the stuff to sell. There are super-premium brands made here that you can’t get anywhere but Japan, but they’re not available here.

A couple of years ago I was at the home of a friend who works in the bourbon business. He had an unlabeled bottle of bourbon with a plain tin screw cap. It was some small batch I’d never heard of, and he explained that it had come out of a barrel that had been “lost” in an aging warehouse for 28 years or something like that. Half of it had evaporated, but the guys in the warehouse bottled what was left and shipped it over to the executives, who distributed it to favored friends and relatives.

It was the best bourbon I ever had, powerful and smooth at the same time. It screamed for a fireplace and a cigar you’d have to pay for with bank financing.

Man, I could go for a lick of that right now.

By: TFG

TFG — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 00:40:48 +0000

Dear Lord in Heaven, Theo. I’ll never unsee that Zombietime thing. I never wanted to know there was such a thing as a “practitioner of scrotal inflation.” That’s just fucking goddamm sonofabitching weird.

By: TFG

TFG — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 00:36:45 +0000

Tom, you seem to be enjoying some of Kentucky’s finest? I never thought of this, but I bet you could get me a deal on some great bourbons they don’t ship out of state.

By: Tom

Tom — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:17:34 +0000

No offense. I’m sure you’re very attractive. I’m just saying.

By: Tom

Tom — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:16:56 +0000

I didn’t mean it literally when i said I was going to take “your clothes” off, either.

By: Tom

Tom — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:16:35 +0000

And just to clarify, when I said “your scrotum,” I didn’t mean it literally.

By: Tom

Tom — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:15:48 +0000

There’s a lot I don’t understand in the world, but trust me on this: theres nothing wrong with taking your clothes off and pumping your scrotum full of air. I’m not going to say how I know, but I do.

By: Theocritus

Theocritus — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 04:43:06 +0000

No, you don’t understand the Zeitgeist. The deer was in the road because of global warming and it’s because you were driving your pollution mobile instead of, oh, I don’t know, taking your clothes off and pumping your scrotum full of air in protest against the Bushitler as is shown in Zombietime.com.

The deer, you see, is an Animal-American and needs a spokesperson, and therefore is an oppressed group and…I’m getting sick here because it’s not all that far off.

By: TFG

TFG — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 01:21:01 +0000

That’s a question I hope never to have to answer. Except the last one - that’s a guaranteed Yes.

By: Tom

Tom — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 19:17:05 +0000

So, just a question: If you’d hit a deer in October, before you got the warning from your insurance company, could you sue your insurance company for not telling you sooner? And if you did, would you settle for the limit of the insurance company’s insurance? And would their rates go up?