What a great insurance company!
Posted by TFG on November 6th, 2007
Got this in the email today:
Did you know that, each year, deer collisions account for over 1.5 million accidents, resulting in thousands of injuries and over 150 fatalities?
We are alerting you because your area has a large deer population and an increased risk of deer collisions from early October through late December when the deer mating season is in full swing.
It’s now November…good timing.
Of course, everybody who lives in Texas knows this anyway. Most of them already have a freezer full of formerly-mating venison.* Still, welcome to the 21st Century.
* Not me…too busy… will take overflows.
November 7th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
So, just a question: If you’d hit a deer in October, before you got the warning from your insurance company, could you sue your insurance company for not telling you sooner? And if you did, would you settle for the limit of the insurance company’s insurance? And would their rates go up?
November 7th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
That’s a question I hope never to have to answer. Except the last one - that’s a guaranteed Yes.
November 7th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
No, you don’t understand the Zeitgeist. The deer was in the road because of global warming and it’s because you were driving your pollution mobile instead of, oh, I don’t know, taking your clothes off and pumping your scrotum full of air in protest against the Bushitler as is shown in Zombietime.com.
The deer, you see, is an Animal-American and needs a spokesperson, and therefore is an oppressed group and…I’m getting sick here because it’s not all that far off.
November 8th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
There’s a lot I don’t understand in the world, but trust me on this: theres nothing wrong with taking your clothes off and pumping your scrotum full of air. I’m not going to say how I know, but I do.
November 8th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
And just to clarify, when I said “your scrotum,” I didn’t mean it literally.
November 8th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
I didn’t mean it literally when i said I was going to take “your clothes” off, either.
November 8th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
No offense. I’m sure you’re very attractive. I’m just saying.
November 8th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Tom, you seem to be enjoying some of Kentucky’s finest? I never thought of this, but I bet you could get me a deal on some great bourbons they don’t ship out of state.
November 8th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Dear Lord in Heaven, Theo. I’ll never unsee that Zombietime thing. I never wanted to know there was such a thing as a “practitioner of scrotal inflation.” That’s just fucking goddamm sonofabitching weird.
November 9th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I’m not sure they produce any bourbon that they don’t ship out of state. Hell, it’s illegal to drink in half of Kentucky, you’ve got to do something with it. We make the stuff to sell. There are super-premium brands made here that you can’t get anywhere but Japan, but they’re not available here.
A couple of years ago I was at the home of a friend who works in the bourbon business. He had an unlabeled bottle of bourbon with a plain tin screw cap. It was some small batch I’d never heard of, and he explained that it had come out of a barrel that had been “lost” in an aging warehouse for 28 years or something like that. Half of it had evaporated, but the guys in the warehouse bottled what was left and shipped it over to the executives, who distributed it to favored friends and relatives.
It was the best bourbon I ever had, powerful and smooth at the same time. It screamed for a fireplace and a cigar you’d have to pay for with bank financing.
Man, I could go for a lick of that right now.