Every team has either appeared in or won the World Series sixteen hundred times since the Texas Rangers morphed into existence 35 years ago, when I was a young lad of 12 and still enamored with the Great Game. Except the Texas Rangers.

Any more questions on why I watch NASCAR these days?

Go ahead and try to convince YLB that the Back-Up doesn’t need to match the dust ruffle.

Maybe you can paint the stock to match this month’s bedroom scheme.

Via Fark, natch…

Whatever happened to just leaning it up against the wall? Oh, yeah — the 21st century, the Safety Century. Never mind.

Interesting tidbit: they say in that video that 100,000,000 Americans keep guns in their homes. By my arithmetic, that’s only 1/3. We need to bump that up, folks.

…and I was literally watching paint dry…well, it was polyurethane, not paint, but I was watching it dry, so I could get another coat on and all…but on a whim, I decided to play in the BoDog blogger tournament. And, faith and begorah! Your favorite old fat not-bald poker player won him a little cash.

About enough to pay for all the damn sandpaper and stain and stuff I’ve bought since Sunday, but still…it’s nice to win a tournament. Regular rare readers will know I’m no tournament specialist at all — cash is my calling, and what I love. Tournaments are such a crap shoot, but they are fun. It took me two suckouts to win, which I hate for the other guy, but we’ve all been there, no?

All of my SATX poker peeps done ditched me, too. So, I’m forced online for some card action. I’m pondering a trip to Austin, where I hear the cards still fly. I’m also pondering a trip to the coast for that casino steamboat thingy they have there - informed sources tell me they have poker on it, and I just salivate over the potential. I’m also considering a trip to the big N. O. since they have a real live legal casino, but such a trip would take a week to recover from. I still want to go, on like a Thursday afternoon, play as long as I can hold my eyelids open, sleep a little, play some more, sleep a lot, and then come back on Sunday. I sure hate getting old and having to hold down a real job. Of course, I must acknowledge that if I were I better poker player — there would be no real job worries.

I hate it when reality slaps me in the face with a mackerel.

WSOP Bracelet Winner & poker player extraordinaire Tom Schneider gets taken by…centuries-old gypsy shell game?

You read that right — the old pea under a nutshell scam. Complete with filthy gypsy accomplice threatening bodily harm to traveling partner.

I think I’ll stick to Vegas or Mississippi - at least there, cocktail waitresses with large boobies give you free alcohol while they fleece you.