I loves me some Labor Day chupacabra:

But the roadkill she found last month outside her ranch was a new one even for her, worth putting in a freezer hidden from curious onlookers: Canion believes she may have the head of the mythical, bloodsucking chupacabra.

I, too, have a freezer that is hidden from curious onlookers. Doesn’t everybody?

Meantime, there is no late-breaking news on Sasquatch. Sad, that.

TIME Mulitmedia | The 30th Anniversary of Punk
Punk, prepared for your mama’s consumption.

Punk music shouldn’t have anniversaries. I shouldn’t be nostalgic for it. It was an enormous, easily-ignored generational spasm against the Eagles, Boston, Journey, Toto, etc. I still have the Ramones and the Pistols on my iPod — I don’t have those others, and I never miss them.

Via Kramer…

…shows his ass.

Says ‘civilians’ should be limited to five-round capacity guns. As an NRA board member, he has to go into damage control mode, and says he meant that just for hunters. Maybe so - Texas has a five-round mag-capacity limit on game-hunting centerfire weapons in the field. He’s old, maybe he got confused. I get confused, too. That might not even be the law any more, it’s been so long since I went hunting.

The problem is he said it to the gel-head pencil-necks at Texas Monthly. The problem is the attitude towards ‘civilians’ by cops and other LEOs. It’s universal. And it doesn’t help.

Via Kevin Baker…

Tom McMahon is a genius.

…mere days away from bombing Iran.

All this bedwetting and scaremongering over a report (PDF) from a Brit think-tank that says Amreica “has the capacity for and may be prepared to launch without warning a massive assault on Iranian uranium enrichment facilities, as well as government buildings and infrastructure, using long-range bombers and missiles.”

Raise your hands if you’re shocked or suprised to learn that we have the capacity to launch a massive assault with bombers and missiles. Good…you’ve all seen Dr. Strangelove. As far as “may be prepared to launch” — well, I may be prepared to assume the throne of Norway.

Henley uses the analysis by a reporter of the occasion of the publication of a book by a neo-con to back up the latest Action Alert! The analysis is highly recommended, if you like convoluted theorizing and you’ve read all the latest updates on the grassy knoll and Umbrella Man.

Me, I’m beginning to think these folks have a quarterly reminder set on their Google calendar to start pissing their panties about bombing Iran. And let’s not forget that Seymour Hersch has been pushing this unsourced bullshit since January of 2005. And what’s happened? Merely diplomacy — jaw-jaw, not war-war. What the scaremongers say they want. What, really, most everybody wants. Yet, like clockwork, we get the syncopated outrage at the imminent bombing of Iran by the United States of Neocons. It’s getting kind of tiresome, so I guess I should stop reading it, huh?

I’ve made $60 in 18 months. Pointless, so far as I can see. I need to re-think this…

The United States has 90 guns for every 100 citizens, making it the most heavily armed society in the world, a report released on Tuesday said.
- some Euroweenie study group

I’ve got four here in my office - two cowboy wheel guns, one XD, and a SOCOM-16. Which reminds me - I really need to scope that SOCOM, and get a Streamlight for the XD.

Of course, the cowboy guns are purely nostalgic entertainment, but I’d take ‘em to just about any fight.

Anyway, that ratio should be at least 3:1 for every male: handgun, shotgun, rifle. Chop-chop, peeps.

Big Bill Quick is more philosophical than me: I feel nothing but pride in the wisdom of our founders, who knew full well that a disarmed people was an enslaved people, and so guaranteed our right to keep and bear arms in the founding document of our nation. Damn straight.

As a digression, I had this exact same convo with a colleague on Monday about RKBA. It’s not for hunting or target shooting, folks. Or even keeping the bad guys away from your family and your stuff. All of those are offshoots, though you could easily argue that the right to self-defense is God-given…inalienable, so to speak.

You would think that the checks and balances of government would be engaged for better cause than this, but it is clear to me that the while the approval level of the Congress is at 18%, this is really the best they can do.

Aye, ’tis indeed.

Personally, provincially…I think it came down to Gonzales being Yet Another Texan. The rest of the world gets their fill of us quickly, and I can’t really blame them though they’re wrong. I get sick of 99% of NooYawkers after about 30 seconds…the ones I like are as bad as me about where they’re from, so there’s a level of recognition and respect that leads to detente and friendship.

Anyhoo…I’m basically trying to avoid the unavoidable fact that I’ve got more dental surgery, the final two titanium dealios, going on in 12 hours. I shouldn’t probably be drinking beer, but I detest sliding into that damn vinyl-covered chair tomorrow morning. I’ve even got a top-drawer dentist, and I trust him completely. I just don’t want to be there at all. It’s too late for all of my readers, but tell your kids to brush their teeth three times a day, and to floss everytime no one’s looking.

Interviews were obtained with top scientists through the duplicity of telling them the film was to be a balanced portrayal of the cultural conflict between science and literal-text religiosity, [...]
- Big Dick Bennett, complaining about some Ben Stein snoozer sure to be distributed on a lightly-watched cable channel

Being scientists and all, wouldn’t they always tell the truth, no matter what duplicity was in effect? Being top scientists and all, you know. So, assuming they’re telling the truth, particularly top scientists, who cares how it came to be recorded and re-broadcast? I’m assuming that the scientists’ truth is something important, so work with me.

I’m not sure why we should take Richard’s endorsement of the ninth commandment as anything especially weighty, either. As a Godless non-believer, your castigation, while certainly correct, carries the weight of an unladen swallow. Particularly when it comes to an opinion show on the teevee. Most particularly since you don’t aspire towards fulfilling all 10 of them.

The internet is dead.

If you’re a billionaire trying to sell HD movies and shows and networks.

Cuban is right, but about two years late in noticing. Still, thanks for the death sentence, dickhead. Nobody else wants to make any money in the business, and having a luminary like you kick it in the teeth is much appreciated.

Just as a level-set for you non-gajillionaires out there: Mark Cuban is so damn bored with his life and the internet that he’s going to join Dancing with The Stars. He got a new hip just to do this:

I can’t resist — more of Mark Cuban dancing:

Why is everyone soliciting sex in bathrooms, for chrissakes? Is there some underground bathroom/gay sex culture out there?

I submit to you that this is the most obtuse line ever typed into the internet by someone over the age of 15. I marvel.

It’s staggering, really…it’s as if his entire life has been lived underneath a flowerpot on your back patio, or behind a bush, and yet it hasn’t. He’s a worldly dude, a veteran and a scholar. But you simply can’t help but wonder what other social phenomenons have escaped his notice.

Some really good questions from Craig Henry, and you should read the whole post. I like this part, too, as it points up some really important questions for our jurisprudence betters:

The energetic federal response in Virginia stands in stark contrast to federal indifference to another high profile criminal case in California. When Lindsey Lohan was arrested the last time, traces of cocaine were found in her purse. Local authorities treated the matter as a simple DUI. The Feds deferred to the state.

Is dog-fighting now a higher priority for the DOJ than the “War on Drugs”? If so, maybe they should give this guy his money back. Maybe they should stop funding those SWAT teams that kick in doors in the inner city looking for crack and pot.

If the War on Drugs is still important, why did the DOJ pass on the opportunity to pressure Lohan and her posse into revealing her supplier? Why id a high profile dog fighter a prize worth bagging but the “Hollywood Connection” is a matter of indifference?

Somehow, I don’t see Lohan’s posse as a tougher nut to crack than Vick’s “friends.” So why not break them and find out who the dealers are?

As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve philosophically turned from a WoD supporter to a WoD enemy, because of this dichotomy pointed out by Craig, and because of the mountains of abuses that have been documented by the blogs over the last six years. So here’s the official TFG position on the dope and dope laws: legalize it, every bit of it, and let the weak ones burn themselves down to the ground.

I suspect, though — well, no, I can guarantee it — as soon as that happens, all the gajillion dollars spent on enforcing drug laws will be spent on medical treatment and rehabilitation for the addle-pated hopheads. All of those drug warriors with SWAT training will go away, and they’ll be replaced, at a 2-for-1 ratio, by liberal-arts-major social workers kicking down doors to find dope-heads to fill up the hospital beds. I have a hard time determining what’s worse, I really do. The net benefit to me? As near as I can tell, it might cut down on the fake-out ammo supply problem, but I’ll have to deal with another government agency poking their snout into everybody’s business. At this point, though, WTF, right?

I envision a shortage of plus-size khakis and pastel polo shirts for the social workers. Productivity will drop 10% over the short term, as there will be no stigma associated with being stoned, as well. Most of American industry has worked around the potheads at this point, but there will still be a measurable impact.

Never let ‘em tell ya the internet tubes ain’t no good. Here’s Stevie Ray Vaughn and Jimmie Vaugh playing the same double-necked guitar — wild good stuff:

I got on SRV kick a little bit tonight. The boy has decided to learn to play the bottleneck slide, so I was tripping around though itunes looking for slide stuff. As usual, I got hung up on SRV, though. I still burned him a CD of some Allmans and some Lonesome George.

Here’s something completely unrelated, except they rocked super-hard:

Johnny Ramone — underappreciated Guitar God?

History is not going to be kind to the likes of profiteering demagogues like Bill Maher.
- Dean Esmay

Yeah, but meanwhile, Bill Maher keeps profiteering, and there’s no way I think he gives a flip what history might say about him.

But that’s the 21st century - smarmy little twits abound, and there’s nobody around to whack ‘em with a Navy Colt.

Watch the original:

And the re-make:

I love watching Ray Davies doing everything in his power not to freak out, while David Lee Roth totally overdoes it later on down the road.

Here’s another VH fave of mine:

Such great guitar in here…but you watch the video, and you begin to understand why Roth got the boot. What a peacock he is, but I don’t know if they could have been what they were without the boy.

Here’s more greatness in the early world of the MTV Nation:

That’s probably the one song on earth where I think the drummer is worth the oxygen. But again, Roth is the canned ham hogging up the video. As it should be, since it’s all visual. I love how this scandalized everyone back then, too. Good stuff.