Mike Modano scored his 500th goal tonight. 39th player to do it, but only the 2nd American, per the Razor.

So that’s pretty dang cool to a hockey lovin’ idiot from Rodeotown, USA. I’m glad it worked out that there was no damn basketball on and I got to see it on the toob. Props to my Dallas hockey peeps, too…yall looked good and appreciative and appropriately enthusiastic.

Me, I’m ready for the playoffs. First one to four.

Clinton: Right-Wing Conspiracy Is Back - Forbes.com

The more interesting thing to us poli-dorks is — will this framing resonate with the nutroots? The answer is: Who Knows? They’re freaking NUTS.

Actually, the answer is probably, yes. It’s like Pavlov’s bell to the progressives. But there are so damn many juicy dynamics at play in this premature-ejaculation of a campaign season. Twenty four months of these megalomaniacal freaks is going to work against them, and by that I mean all of them, party notwithstanding. I still think Obama has the best shot as the Democratic dude, since he’s Northern and non-Caucasian, but he’s got a long way to go and a lot of room to fall down. RomMcCainliani is just, just…just not working for me.

I half-wish Cheney would run, just to raise the spittle-flecking quotient of the progresso-commie hothouse-flower freaks. How much fun would that be? Lots, says I. Then some plain-talking no-name from a Plains state could wander in and take the Prez prize.

I one-quarter one-eighth one-sixteenth hope that it’s a plain-talking no-name Democrat, too, just so we can have fully-Google-cached crawdadding of the Perpetually Outraged. Might send the Daddy Party into some woodshed time, too, which can only help.

Dear God, I’m talking about an election that happens at the end of next year. If you’re close by, come smother me with a brisket.

From an email sent by a policeman buddy:

Sighting in your expensive deer rifle

Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle………….. $1200.00
Quality, high-powered scope…………………… $ 550.00
Bore sighting device………………………………. $ 140.00
Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting?

Priceless!

Eep. Think I’ll be checking my barrels a little closer next time I’m at the range.

Earth Mother Gaia bites back, but bites the wrong folks:

A North Pole expedition meant to bring attention to global warming was called off after one of the explorers got frostbite.
[...]
Then there was the cold — quite a bit colder, Atwood said, then Bancroft and Arnesen had expected. One night they measured the temperature inside their tent at 58 degrees below zero, and outside temperatures were exceeding 100 below zero at times, Atwood said.

Because of this cancellation, teachers are forced to scramble to find something else to waste your tax dollars and your children’s learning time with:

The explorers had planned to call in regular updates to school groups by satellite phone, and had planned online posts with photographic evidence of global warming. In contrast to Bancroft’s 1986 trek across the Arctic with fellow Minnesota explorer Will Steger, this time she and Arnesen were prepared to don body suits and swim through areas where polar ice has melted.

Atwood said there was some irony that a trip to call attention to global warming was scuttled in part by extreme cold temperatures.

“They were experiencing temperatures that weren’t expected with global warming,” Atwood said. “But one of the things we see with global warming is unpredictability.“

There’s nothing…NOTHING…global warming can’t do. Including dropping temperatures to 100 below zero.

You know, we used to just call all this ‘the weather’ and said, rightly, there’s nothing you can do about it. Now we’re so besotted with our self-esteemful selves that we think we can even change the weather.