You know you’ve got a great batch of jalapenos when your eyes are watering, your lips are tingling, and your scalp is sweating just from the fumes of de-seeding them. My Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeno Shrimp attetizer follows. Anybody can do these. Helpful Hint: go potty BEFORE you start this. And wash your hands, pig-boy.

Yes, I’m already prepping for Thanksgiving. Next up, onions — just as soon as I quit crying.

15 large jalapenos
1 Tbs. of fresh crushed garlic
½ cup lemon juice
30 medium raw shrimp*
15 strips of bacon (optional) (not in my kitchen)

Cut tails off of shrimp.
Marinate shrimp with lemon juice, garlic for 20 to 30 minutes.
Pre-heat oven to 400.
Remove stems from jalapenos, cut in half, and de-seed.
Cut bacon strips in half.
Put shrimp in jalapeno half, wrap with bacon, and skewer.
Put wrapped shrimp on wire rack, and wire rack on cookie sheet.

Bake for 15-20 minutes at 400, or until bacon is crisped.

* I actually buy them already cooked (and frozen) from Sam’s. I don’t want to be de-veining no damn shrimp.