Mr. Apathetic
Posted by TFG on July 18th, 2005
Since I’ve lately revealed that I have zero emotional investment in Harry Potter, I should go ahead and tell you that I’ve never seen that dumbass Willie Wonka movie, either, and therefore could care less about a new version of it. Say “oompa-loompa” around me, and I’ll ask if you need the Heimlich.
Now, I did cry during Ol’ Yeller. And I still believe Shane should have stuck around, at least for a little while, just to see how things worked out.
How lame do you have to be to only remember two picture shows from your youth? I still get antsy with large flocks of birds, but I have a shotgun now, and I could take some of those sumbitching crows with me on the way to Hell.
July 18th, 2005 at 10:17 pm
When I was a kid we all went to see what seemed like a new Kurt Russell movie every other day. He must have made a hundred of these things where he played a dumbo who got smart from drinking a mysterious potion, or a slacker who became a star athlete from trapping and falling into some weird stuff in a lab. This was way before Big Trouble in Little China (which is one of my favorites, by the way, but I was out of childhood by then) and before he became Mr. Goldie Hawn.
Argh but this antique machine is killing me.
July 19th, 2005 at 2:45 am
Scott, the whole idea of children’s movies is that… they’re for children! All this adult excitement about a movie where people who fly around on brooms and converse with talking hats is a bit demented.
I have a 5 year old daughter and her universe does not include many things that her dear old dad is interested in (dinosaurs excepted). Eating chocolate and watching “SpongeBob Squarepants” is a sort of religious experience for a 5 year old. For me, it would put me into a diabetic coma.
For the “Classic Illustrated” synopsis, Willie Wonka (who reminds me of Michael Jackson) makes chocolate and lives with green-faced midgets. He occasionally tortures children who tick him off - this is where a parent experiences a vicarious thrill - and he likes good children who tell the truth.
If I get dragged to see the Willie Wonka movie, it won’t be to see the frigging movie, but to be with my kid and to give her mom some downtime. I’m sure as hell not going to get on some sort of chat room and parse it for all the other pathetic shut-ins.
For me, doing that would be like crossing the River Styx.
By the way, it WOULD have been great if Shane kicked that dud Van Heflin’s ass and nailed Jean Arthur. Talk about come back, Shane!
July 19th, 2005 at 5:17 pm
Hey Texasjew, my 9 year old do not like any cartoons except popeye and tom and jerry i find it interesting with all that is on back go the basics. I took my 16 year old to see fantastic four and looked over and she was asleep, during the good part.
July 19th, 2005 at 6:16 pm
You weren’t blocked, you dork.
July 21st, 2005 at 6:43 am
One thing in common is we all are different. It’s supposed to be that way…
July 22nd, 2005 at 3:10 pm
Shane didn’t stick around because he’d been shot and he didn’t want Joey to see him die…
November 17th, 2006 at 10:02 pm
Are you there?…
I am not sure if this is true but ……