Blahbedie-blahbedie
Posted by TFG on July 18th, 2005
One reason to like Tom Barnett:
Anyone, including Chinese generals, are allowed to blow smoke out their asses in public.
As I’m still desperately trying to get through his book, I’ll leave it to the eggheads to hash out the nuances. I don’t do nuance terribly well, anyway. But he’s right.
And if we actually did blow smoke out of our asses everytime we blow smoke out of our asses, why, we’d have been dead aeons ago from that global warning.
Speaking of global warming, I’d like to try to save the 15 of you who are still reading here and advise you to not waste the hours of your life required to watch the movie The Day After Tomorrow. I fell into this trap on Saturday, because I couldn’t stomach another viewing of Van Helsing or Kill Bill, no matter how uber-hot Kate Beckinsale and Uma Thurman are. Here’s all you need to know: that Quaid boy, a tree-hugger in daily life, he drives a dinky little hybrid vehicle. When it comes to nut-cutting time to go and save his boy in flooded and frozen New York, he gets in a Dodge Ram 4WD with four doors. My point is, you never know when nut-cutting time is going to hit.
Here’s a little game…let’s play Spot The Fetishes:
In the immortal words of Jimmy Durante, HA-CHA-CHA-CHA!
July 18th, 2005 at 9:10 pm
Scott - I loved “The Day After Tomorrow” almost as much as Al Gore did. As a petroleum geologist, working throughout the Permian Basin, it was as amusing as any movie I ever saw.
It had all the veracity of your average “Three Stooges” two reeler, but with worse acting. Those horrible bratty kids were so awful, you had to root for the Troposphere to deep-freeze their little yuppie asses.
They filmed a number of scenes down here in Juarez and El Paso - the ultra-”ironic” shots of people running down to Juarez, like they couldn’t stop in El Paso, three feet away.
Then the painful admission of the “Dick Cheney” clone about how he had failed to take this global warming crap seriously, the jowly Halliburton pimp. Of course, the “President Bush” character got killed because he had the mental acuity of a planaria, the idiot.
Seriously, the environmental schmucks have caused our present and future energy crises, and (frank admission here) I’m personally laughing all the way to the bank.
For the rest of you, I’d recommend hanging those jackasses from any available lightpost. Slowly.
July 18th, 2005 at 9:27 pm
Oh man…don’t get me started on those assholes at the library. Not just a library but the freaking NYC Public Library, full of desks and tables and chairs and bookshelves, and they can’t keep 10 people warm in one damn room with a fireplace the size of my living room? Three Stooges would be a step up the evolutionary ladder. It’s seriously laughable how gawdamm idiotic that movie was.
I hope you are laughing. I’m trying to, and I feel like I’m getting there, just too damn slow for my tastes. But anyone who’s played poker with me can tell you all about my patience, heh heh.
July 18th, 2005 at 10:25 pm
OMG that scene drove me nuts, where they are in the library and the old librarian guy is fondling his “Gutenberg bible” and saying “we can’t burn this — civilization, free speech, the end of the world!” I’m there in my friend’s living room jumping up and down screaming “Your in the f**king New York Public Library!! You’re in a building full of every printed work known to man, including all the works of Karl Marx and Danielle Steele! Not to effing mention you’re sitting in a room full of furniture covered with decades of goddam varnish!” And besides, that old dry-ass bible would have burned up in about six seconds if it would have taken that long. I could have taken the rest of this horrible, gimcrack, slapped-together movie in stride — the instantly freeze-drying people, the slo-mo tidal wave that sort of fills New York City up gently as if God left the bathtub running, the horrible fakey “special effects” — for instance, the “tornadoes” in LA that made the twisters in The Wizard of Oz look sophisticated — if only they had left that stupid and pointless ooh we have to burn books shock horror scene out.
July 18th, 2005 at 11:39 pm
My family vividly remembers Dennis Quaid from Bellaire High in Houston, where he was a well-known academic screw-up.
Nita Quaid, their mom, was a well-repected realtor there in Meyerland back then, and she had to frequently send Randy over to the Bellaire Bowling Lanes during school days to pull him out before the truant officer grabbed him.
They should have left him there.
At least Randy got some good bowling tips for his fabulous portrayal of an Amish bowling champ in “Kingpin”. Come to think of it, even that movie was a hell of a lot more realistic than ‘The Day After Tomorrow.”
Sorry to ruin your breakfast, but you all haven’t even mentioned (sob sob) the doctor wife with the little sick kid. That was a subplot from hell!
July 19th, 2005 at 4:03 am
Well, yeah, but ‘fess up now: how many sights more inspiring are there than Kate Beckinsale in a tightly laced leather corset and high-heeled boots?
What? she doesn’t appear in that costume in Day After Tomorrow? She doesn’t appear in it at all? Oops. Put it back on the rack and back slowly away.
July 19th, 2005 at 6:32 am
I was trying to forget that subplot. I wanted them both to freeze-dry.
July 19th, 2005 at 10:45 am
I’ve had Kill Bill 2 in a wrapper since it came out. I wonder if I should bother viewing it.
July 19th, 2005 at 11:15 am
The fetish is obviously the blades. Cold steel and hot women.
July 19th, 2005 at 11:24 am
KB2 is awesome, Drizz…watch it. I’ve just seen it every Saturday night on the satellite for the last six months. Nothing like a cable channel to pound a good show into the ground.
Phelps, that’s one…of course, you can’t see the knee boots on dear Kate too well in that photo. heh heh
July 20th, 2005 at 12:19 pm
“you never know when nut-cutting time is going to hit.”
Um, is that the Boy Scout motto translated into Texan? It is so much better than “be prepared” while making the same point.
July 20th, 2005 at 1:20 pm
I think you’ve got a damn good point there, Craig.
I’m trying hard to remember when I started using nut-cutting time instead, but I swear it’s been a part of my lingo since before I even knew what nut-cutting was all about. And we never even did any nut-cutting…we were well into the time of the rubber band by the time I was old enough to be pressed into service.