When I was reading the BaloneyMachine this week, I was cracking up with cynical laughter at the mediots involved in the not-even-a-story about a cable teevee show. I was briefly tempted to launch into yet another rant at the boneheadedness of the publicity sluts, but I was rapidly bored, as in, after 30 seconds of thought. Through the legal process of extreme rendition, I’ll let Big Dick Bennett eviscerate these nano-intellects:

Bernie Goldberg, author of 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America : (and Al Franken Is #37) was ambushed on the Donnie Deutsch show Wednesday. He was invited on the show to discuss his best-selling book (it’s number two on Amazon, behind Harry Potter), and was told there would be a panel of people on both sides of the issue (the culture war), and that the host is a “purple-stater” with no strong partisan views. So many lies, it’s hard to know where to start.

And he answers one of the main questions I had — who in the hell is Donny Deutsch, and why should anyone give a damn? Answer: a nobody, and they shouldn’t.

The hilarious part of Jarvis’ jacked-up goofballness is where he describes Goldberg’s book as a one-way cable teevee shoutfest, then announces that he’s going on a one-way cable teevee shoutfest and encourages us to watch the one-way cable teevee shoutfest that he’s going to be on. And, being in the business of selling more BaloneyMachine, there’s the obligatory response post to critics. No BolognaMachine non-story about Jeff would be complete without a licking link for Jim Bob Wolcott, either.*

* Digression: I’ll likely never forgive Jeffro for exposing me to that effete, sociopathic snot. I could have lived my entire life quite happily without knowing that such a person existed, much less prospered, outside the pages of fiction.

You seriously have to hand it to Jarvis — there’s not a harder-working self-promoter in the bloggiverse. He’s a shining city on the hill for all the world’s money-hungry bloggers. Of course, it helps if you start off as a lifelong media insider with connections up and down both coasts.