Posted by TFG on 18th July 2005
Since I’ve lately revealed that I have zero emotional investment in Harry Potter, I should go ahead and tell you that I’ve never seen that dumbass Willie Wonka movie, either, and therefore could care less about a new version of it. Say “oompa-loompa” around me, and I’ll ask if you need the Heimlich.
Now, I did cry during Ol’ Yeller. And I still believe Shane should have stuck around, at least for a little while, just to see how things worked out.
How lame do you have to be to only remember two picture shows from your youth? I still get antsy with large flocks of birds, but I have a shotgun now, and I could take some of those sumbitching crows with me on the way to Hell.
Posted in Goofy | 7 Comments »
Posted by TFG on 18th July 2005
One reason to like Tom Barnett:
Anyone, including Chinese generals, are allowed to blow smoke out their asses in public.
As I’m still desperately trying to get through his book, I’ll leave it to the eggheads to hash out the nuances. I don’t do nuance terribly well, anyway. But he’s right.
And if we actually did blow smoke out of our asses everytime we blow smoke out of our asses, why, we’d have been dead aeons ago from that global warning.
Speaking of global warming, I’d like to try to save the 15 of you who are still reading here and advise you to not waste the hours of your life required to watch the movie The Day After Tomorrow. I fell into this trap on Saturday, because I couldn’t stomach another viewing of Van Helsing or Kill Bill, no matter how uber-hot Kate Beckinsale and Uma Thurman are. Here’s all you need to know: that Quaid boy, a tree-hugger in daily life, he drives a dinky little hybrid vehicle. When it comes to nut-cutting time to go and save his boy in flooded and frozen New York, he gets in a Dodge Ram 4WD with four doors. My point is, you never know when nut-cutting time is going to hit.
Here’s a little game…let’s play Spot The Fetishes:
In the immortal words of Jimmy Durante, HA-CHA-CHA-CHA!
Posted in General | 11 Comments »
