Stoops to the Pokes
Posted by TFG on December 12th, 2004
I’ve avoided talking sports here for several weeks. After the greatest baseball playoffs in the history of baseball, it’s kind of hard to get motivated about the secondary sports. I hate basketball, not passionately, certainly, but, outside of dull civic pride, there’s nothing about the mutants that interest me…even the point guards are taller than my tallest friend. Professional ice hockey, and my beloved Stars, chose this year to shove the dagger in my heart, twist it to create a large wound channel, and then pull it out to watch laughingly as my love spills on the floor…I mainly wish the Dallas Freeze were still around so I could take the kids or the wife (or both!) to see some stick/puck.
My first love — the Cowboys, the Pokes, the Silver&Blue — are in the grip of a carpet-bagging New Jersey egomaniac who’s managed to squander every bit of goodwill & trust he generated last year. There’s not a single significant move The Brobdingnagian Tuna has made this year that I can point at and say, I understand that. The slavish devotion to Vinnie Interceptaverde has befuddled many smart men in Texas, and I’m talking about men who had blocking-dummy teething toys and pigskin diapers. I fear that Jerry Jones, impresario of the Cowboy Star, has met his match with Parcells.
The key differentiator here, though, is that Jones still has the Unspoken Option — FIRE HIS ASS. While I don’t want to see another Krazy Kampo situation (or Goofy Gailey, or Silly Switzer), I want a damn coach who’s on the same page with at least one-half of the populace..at least then, I can figure that I’m just a big dummy who doesn’t get something. That ain’t happening here.
Therefore, let me be the first to get out of the gate on this one: fire Parcells so he and Vinnie can have plenty of quality time together, and hire Mr. Bob Stoops. As much as it pains me to admit Okie superiority at anything short of double-wide landscaping, the Boomer Sooners have been untouchable for a half-decade. I want that kind of football mind at the helm of my beloved hometown gridironers. Give Stoops the same leeway that Parcells enjoys today, and I’m convinced that we’re in the Super Bowl in 5 years or less.
Crazy? Sure — but Jerry Jones fired Tom Landry, the greatest football coach in the history of football. If you can fire Cowboy Tom and bring in that fat-cheeked, nacho-eating, Heineken-drinking, boat-loving, Miami-living, hairspray-using, sooooie-pig Jimmy Johnson…well, Bob Stoops ain’t no thing.
Who’s with me?
Yes, that logo sucks. Because I suck. I need a graphics staff, badly. I’m a blue-sky, big-picture, long-range man.
December 12th, 2004 at 10:19 pm
I’m sure there’s a passle of teasippers in Austin who’ll back this all the way!
I know I won’t be watching any Sunday afternoon football until some drastic changes are made…
December 13th, 2004 at 6:15 am
Here’s a little hockey for you:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/041212/cx_peanuts_umedia/20041212&e=1
Have a nice day.
December 13th, 2004 at 11:28 am
Blame New Jersey all you want, but Parcells is yours now. No givebacks!
December 13th, 2004 at 11:35 am
And New England doesn’t want him back either, we finally got rid of him and Bledsoe and look what happened!
December 13th, 2004 at 1:01 pm
where’s the petition??? I think our media might run him off before anyone else gets a chance though!
December 13th, 2004 at 1:48 pm
Easy there about wanting another college coach to make the jump. While I think Stoops is a great coach, I think the Spurrier failure was so great, that I wouldn’t want to risk any team with that kind of coach.
Tuna isn’t doing anything worthwhile in my opinion. I’m not sure what they are trying to do, but damn…need to get the old guys outta there and play the young’ins…at least Julius Jones is going to be a beast.
December 13th, 2004 at 3:36 pm
1. Thank you for sending Chad Hutchinson surfing for the season, because he actually can throw the ball to the guys in the same color jerseys he’s wearing. And my beloved Bears picked him up to actually be a QB and not a tackling dummy, like our previous two backups.
2. You have Julius Jones, and you’d best get rid of Tuna boy before he gets rid of Jones.
December 13th, 2004 at 11:48 pm
Stoops…Schmoops !
Get serious !!!
skyfisherman :8^)
December 14th, 2004 at 1:54 pm
Man, that’s the best idea I’ve heard since Jimmy Johnson left — now there’s a college coach who made the transition. I think Stoops would, too. He keeps beating UT because he’s smarter than Mack Brown, plain and simple. It doesn’t seem to matter who is on the field. The Tuna is flailing. Did you notice Quincy Carter is having another good year?
Meanwhile, by way of gloating, the Texas 5A state champtionship was worth watching.
December 14th, 2004 at 3:45 pm
Get the Site Admin from Jessica’s Well for your graphics…pretty good with PhotoShop…see the Bush turkey today
December 15th, 2004 at 3:52 pm
Quincy Carter is having a good year???? Wha???
If Stoops has turned down so many NFL jobs already, what makes anyone think he would take the lowly Dallas job?
December 15th, 2004 at 8:28 pm
Even though I agree that the Red Sox winning and the Yankees suffering 3-1 humiliation makes for an excellent playoffs, I hardly think a season that ends with a 4-game sweep of the most offensively talented team from one league is the best ever.